


Secrets I have held in my heart (maybe I just wanna be yours)

by Anonymous



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, But we know he is, Finn likes to pretend he's not in love with Isaiah, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Isaiah likes to tell stories, Finn likes to appreciate Isaiah. But he's not in love.
Relationships: Isaiah Jesus/Finn Shelby
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81
Collections: Anonymous





	Secrets I have held in my heart (maybe I just wanna be yours)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for this Fandom, and I wrote this at dawn after dealing with my anxiety alone while I should be sleeping or writing to the F1 Fandom, but anyway. If anyone is reading this, I hope you like it because I can't get out of my head how much I love these two, and how much I need season 6. 
> 
> These are difficult times, but I hope you are protecting yourselves, washing your hands, wearing masks and fulfilling social isolation if possible. Take care and respect all the professionals who are working during the pandemic. 
> 
> And English isn't my first language, but I tried my best.

Finn Shelby wasn't the most centred person in the world, he wasn't even close to winning this title. It didn't take anything big to make him lose all his concentration, he could be at the most important family reunion of the last decade, but if a fly passed in front of him, he would focus on the flight path of the insect until something else more valuable stole his attention again. 

But something about Isaiah wouldn't let him concentrate unless he put all his focus on listening carefully to his best friend's words. Don't get him wrong, one of Finn's favourite parts of the day was just sitting in his chair and listening to Isaiah enthusiastically tell a story about something that had happened the night before at Garrison, but after thirty seconds all he could focus on was the way Isaiah's face lit up, how he gestured dramatically with his big hands, how he threw his head back and let out a laugh that Finn was sure was the sound that would play at the gates of paradise - if there was one like Linda vehemently affirmed that there was. 

But if Polly, John, or even Arthur remarked that he was falling for 'that Jesus boy', Finn would make a point of firmly denying and dramatically leave the room. 

He wasn't falling in love with Isaiah, he just liked to appreciate his best friend and there's nothing wrong with that. 

Finn shook his head trying to clear away all those thoughts that came out of nowhere to chase him in the morning, trying to focus on the bets and predictions for the football games, he needed to finish this quickly before Arthur arrived to see improvement. 

He enjoyed having his own office, being able to take care of the new branch of the business of the Shelby Company, feeling a little more part of the family, and less like that same ten-year-old boy that his older brothers found when they came back from the war. 

“Morning,” Isaiah's voice echoed throughout the room, making an irrepressible smile appear on Finn's lips. “Working hard already? I didn't know you did that before noon, Finn boy.” 

Finn rolled his eyes with Isaiah's comment, still unable to suppress the smile from his lips, it was always like that when the boy was around. 

Finn's eyes didn't leave Isaiah's figure who walked quietly to the cabinet where all the bottles of drinks were stored, pouring some Whiskey into a glass. 

“You can't work before drinking, can you?” Finn spoke while reclining on his chair. 

“No real Peaky Blinder can, it's in our blood,” Isaiah took a shot of the drink, taking a dramatic break that made Finn roll his eyes once again. “And in our fucking liver.” 

“You know I'm the actual Shelby here, right?” 

The two of them laughed at the question, to other people it might even sound bitter, but it was a kind of silent joke that existed between them. Finn was the real Shelby, and he had to bear the burden of carrying on the name, the legacy, and the legal business of the family; but Isaiah was involved with the Peaky Blinders, he was the one on the front line of dangerous and illegal actions. One could not exist without the other, just as Finn and Isaiah couldn't. 

The room fell into a comfortable silence, Finn smoking his cigarette and trying not to blush with the steady way Isaiah looked at him. Finn had even forgotten there was work to finish before Arthur arrived, having to hear from Shelby's older brother that he was irresponsible was annoying, to say the least. 

“You know," Isaiah began speaking, letting the almost empty glass rest on Finn's desk. "Yesterday some boys and I stayed at Garrison till later, you should stop acting like a businessman and stop heading home so soon, anyway...” 

Finn's attention was fully on Isaiah, and he was striving to listen to the story and not lose any detail, but slowly his silky voice became a pleasant noise at the back of the room and all Finn could focus on was how lovely Isaiah looked when he talked excitedly about something. 

“Your brothers were gone too, except John who decided to stay and enjoy himself a little more because he met some blonde beauty...” 

His big hands were gesturing in all directions. There was something about his hands that made Finn shiver in anticipation, Finn imagined how those hands would go down his body. Hands so dangerous that they could pull a trigger without thinking twice, but they still reminded Finn of how tight Isaiah held him when they ran down Watery Lane when they were just kids. 

“And John was getting along just fine, I think any second that girl would drop on her knees and suck him in front of everybody, that lass was completely insane and I guess she had made snow...” 

One of Finn's favourite memories was when he and Isaiah ran far enough to get to the city woods, where they had founded a secret club called 'Peaky Boys', in the middle of those trees they could be anything without the boring adults ruining their fantasies. And one of the things Finn liked most was when Isaiah just laid his head on his lap while they ate the sandwiches Polly had prepared and then let Finn adorn his hair with small colourful flowers. Sometimes he would lie awake just thinking about how it felt to gently run his fingertips between Isaiah's curls, listening to his sweet murmurs. 

“Except what they weren't expecting was Esme to walk into the pub full of rage, I never want to have to face that woman. She looked like a hurricane, she's undoubtedly a Shelby...” 

His eyes were so gentle when he was telling some story to Finn, when he didn't need to be a Peaky Blinder, but just some kid from Birmingham. The same eyes that were searching first for Finn to make sure he was safe in any dangerous situation - even if everyone realized that, except Finn himself. The eyes that Finn saw filled with terror after Isaiah killed a man for the first time, when the boy jumped the window of the Shelby house covered in blood and was only able to calm down when Finn wiped his face with a wet cloth and held him tight until their heartbeats became one. 

“The whole pub was silent, and she didn't even have to open her mouth for John to be like a puppy behind her, apologizing and begging her to calm down and not do anything she might regret...” 

Those damn lips. The same damn lips that were telling a story Finn should be paying attention to, but all he could think about was how he wanted to kiss Isaiah until he lost all his senses. Damn, and imagining the sweet sounds of pleasure coming out of Isaiah's lips while Finn is on his knees giving him the best head of his life would no doubt be the end of poor Shelby boy. 

“But the blondie also got up and thought it would be a clever idea to talk some shit to Esme Fucking Shelby, she was mental, and Esme punched the girl in the face, poured a bottle of whiskey on John's head and still made him run out after her like a lost puppy. Your sister-in-law is the second most crazy woman in the world, she only loses to Polly, your family has many...” 

It was always the same unfortunate ending, at least for Finn. He lost all concentration thinking about how all he wanted was to have Isaiah in his arms every night, to be the reason for his smiles, and just to be able to love the boy without the fear of being turned into the greatest fool Birmingham has ever seen. 

“Finn,” Isaiah snapped his fingers in front of the boy's face, causing him to be suddenly taken out of his daydreams, Finn felt his face burning with embarrassment. “Were you listening to me?” 

“Hm,” Finn started unsure about how to answer, he had more or less an idea of what his best friend was talking about, but he definitely wasn't focused. “I-I was.” 

Finn wanted to slap himself for being such an idiot and stuttering, and if John and Arthur were around they would surely joke regarding their brother's situation and make endless comments about how he was falling for Isaiah. He wasn't. 

Isaiah smirked, the kind of malicious grin that made Finn shiver and his knees wobble. He got up and walked to the other side of the table, turning the chair where Finn was sitting a little to get more access to the boy. Finn felt like a poor rabbit exposed to a huge beast, it was a scary feeling and at the same time exciting enough to make him not want to change anything about it. 

Isaiah bent down a bit, just enough to capture Finn's lips without much trouble. 

And Finn wanted to stay in that moment forever. 

It wasn't an aggressive and hungry kiss, with a fight between the two to gain dominance and set the pace. Finn only allowed himself to be, and Isaiah didn't need to prove superiority, their lips fitting perfectly and their tongues working in harmony in a gentle kiss, but still in need of more. 

They only stopped when they were panting, Finn with his cheeks redder than he thought was humanly possible while Isaiah rested his forehead on the boy's shoulder. 

“You're lovely, Finn Shelby,” Isaiah whispered in Finn's ear, with one of his hands stroking his best friend's, which was now possibly something else, cheek again. “I think tonight we'll both have better things to do than go to Garrison.” 

Damn it, if Finn Shelby swore to everyone that he wasn't in love with Isaiah Jesus, he certainly was now.


End file.
